A terrible week
August 25, 2013
"I am stunned to see the article you published of Danette Vaughn online! Her only daughter is 16 years old, has JUST heard of her mother's death,
and you are profiting off the gross exploitation of their tragedy without even contacting the immediate family!

"It is only a matter of time before she sees this macabre tragedy via some voyeur who sees it as entertainment and shares it without any thought
as to her personal grief .

"Quote 'freedom of the press' all you want to me. You have no sense of morality, and I may look into contacting an attorney to pursue this further.

"Shame on you newsbf.com. SHAME on you!"

It has been a terrible week. The above letter, which I received yesterday, ripped my heart out.

I know how it feels. My wife and I have been there, too many times.

I don't know the person who wrote the letter, I did not know the victim of this accident, I seldom do.

I wrote back,

"My apologies for upsetting you. I did not publish her name to exploit, and I only published after the Idaho State Police released her name, after being assured that her family had been notified.

"In Bonners Gerry, I learned first hand in 1998 and again in 2005, when two of my children died, that people appreciate knowing so they know who to offer
comfort."

Yeah, I wrote "Bonners Gerry." I was a bit teary at the time, and my finger slipped.

I'm used to such anguish, but it is never easy to bear. Threats of lawsuits are common, too, and though never safe, I am always careful.

Then I woke up to this message.

"Danette J Vaughn is my mother. She was loved very much."

"Our condolences and prayers are with you," I wrote back. "You are your Mom's legacy. I lost my mother in a car crash much too soon, too. You are not alone ... never think it. If you need help, there is a whole community here for you to lean on. Our love is with you."

I would not share this, but for the attempt to dispel the notion that I like these terrible parts of what I have to do, or that I profit by the telling.

To do not would diminish the trust I so depend so much on.

I am able to publish the terrible because I have never been let down by those who read these pages.

I may be reviled for the telling, but I am ever redeemed by the graciousness and inherent goodness of the people for whom I am privileged to write, for those I am blessed to call neighbor.

I may hate what I must tell, but I am ever grateful to do what little I can to help bring out the best of what this community is.