Bullies and chicken-killin' dogs ...
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May 15, 2013 |
By Dave McClelland
Boundary County Sheriff's Detective
 Those
of you who grew up with farm animals like I did
probably remember a dog that just couldn’t be
cured from killing chickens. Once it got the
taste in its system, there
wasn’t much of a cure other than giving the dog
away to someone who either didn’t have chickens
or didn’t live near any.
The other cure probably doesn’t need mentioning
here.
I see domestic violence in the same context.
Whenever someone, male or female, starts to use
physical or mental violence to control a mate --
and they get away with it because it wasn’t
reported or the system enabled them by lax
penalties or the victim enabled them by refusing
to testify after the arrest -- it’s hard for the
perpetrator to stop.
Why should they? It’s working for them.
The use of physical or emotional violence is the
ultimate sign of a “bully." Bullies are people
who don’t have the social skills or maturity to
influence their environment through civil
conversation and give and take.
Add alcohol and/or drugs to that immature
personality and you have someone even more apt
to use violence to get their way.
Remember bullies in school? They always seemed
to be the ones who learned that if they could
intimidate someone smaller and weaker than they
were, the word got out and many of the kids
either avoided confrontation with the bully or
allowed themselves to be bullied.
This only enabled the bully into developing a
habit (because it worked) of getting what he or
she wanted through intimidation.
I, for one, have nothing but feelings of
contempt for bullies and always have.
Bullies also have a tendency to be child
molesters and rapists. They pick on smaller,
weaker and many times younger children and
mentally handicapped individuals to get what
they want through fear, intimidation or
manipulating the victim into believing the bully
can be trusted.
Many folks become unintended victims due to
feeling lonely or falling victim to the
“rescuer” syndrome.
The victim will fall for a smooth tongue by the
so-called rescuer, who is nothing more than a
con artist. These people can only maintain their
polished personalities for a short time; get
alcohol onboard and their true personalities
emerge.
Maybe that’s why long engagements were the norm,
way back “when.”
Boundary County Victims’ Services have many
resources available to victims, male or female,
and, yes, there are males who have fallen victim
to an abusive spouse and no they aren’t
“sissies,” they were just raised not to hit or
abuse females.
If you’re a victim of violence, stop by and see
the ladies in the Victim Services Office
downstairs at the courthouse. They’re always
ready and willing to help or at least just
listen. They also have pamphlets of information
available so that you can educate yourself on
your rights and responsibilities.
One last thing to remember, do not hesitate to
call 911 if you’re being victimized.
Stay safe.
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