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The word “booby” has been used to label a dummy or a nincompoop since the early 16th century.
In 1675, Merriam Webster defined “bubby” as a vulgar slang, but there was no further description of it. Some think that “bubby” evolved into “booby,” which was subsequently shortened to “boob.”
It could have been used as a nickname for “bubble-butt” for all I or anyone else knows, or cares for that matter. It would also serve to further confuse the issue of when boob actually began to be used in any way.
It is said by some that boob originated from the Spanish word “bobo,” used to describe a fool or a dunce.
The first description of the word “booby” in the Oxford English Dictionary came in 1791, supporting the description of a lamebrain by simply calling a booby “a stupid person.” It also describes a clumsy looking seabird as a booby.
That just adds more confusion on the “birth of a boob.”
Booby gained a great deal of popularity in the early 19th century by spawning terms like booby prize, booby trap and booby hatch. People especially liked using “booby hatch” as slang for mental institutions, which shows little compassion but a certain amount of humor. They also enjoyed referring to police stations as “booby hatches,” probably out of the hearing of any constable.
The first instance of booby in reference to breasts has been said to have made its debut in the 1934 novel "Tropic of Cancer" by Henry Miller.
“She was lying on the ground with her boobies in her hands.”
Needless to say, that use of the term pushed booby hatch into the far back corner.
Boobies hit the ground running and captured the imaginations of America and the world. It was less crass than tits and more exciting than breasts, and while people had been ogling them for centuries, they now made no bones about it.
French trappers named the Grand Teton Mountains in Wyoming. It means “big boobs,” and makes me seriously doubt the tale that boobies were first used to describe boobs in 1934. French trappers were active 100 years earlier. Of course, I suppose it is possible that they knew some cone-headed, idiot boobs, but somehow I doubt it.
Now, back to the preferred type of boobs. It is perfectly normal for one to be bigger than the other, so if one is don’t duct tape it to make it smaller. However, if one is double the size of the other, that would qualify as a startling situation and it would need to be addressed in some manner.
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| Chelsea Charms |
She decided she wanted the biggest in the world so had three operations and went from a D-Cup to the point where each one weighs as much as two watermelons. Hers are renowned as the biggest artificial pair in the world and they sound horrifically intimidating to me.
The largest natural pair in the world belong to Annie Hawkins-Turner, who is better known as Norma Stitz, for obvious reasons.
The 57-year old fetish model from Atlanta, Georgia, has earned millions from her 102ZZZ assets. They weigh an amazing 65 pounds each and are over four and a half feet long and are still growing.
Talk about intimidating.
She started developing breasts at the age of five, and by the time she turned nine they were a size 36D. She was diagnosed with giantomastia, which involves the lifelong growth of breast tissue.
At least she turned her affliction into a fortune and could sneer at her childhood nickname of “whale boob girl.” It is doubtful that any of the rude boobs who called her that have millions in the bank.
The German newspaper Bild came out with an “atlas of cup sizes” map of the whole world. Alas, they were beaten to it a year earlier by TargetMap.com, whose map is called “Average Breast Cup Size in the World.”
The women of Russia, Finland, Sweden and Norway were dubbed the big winners, boasting “larger than a D-cup” bra sizes.
American women should not feel too inferior for they have mostly D-cup sizes, along with Venezuela and Columbia. Africa, and Asia were touted as having the smallest chests, with Southeast Asia the absolute smallest.
I served In Vietnam and Japan in the mid-seventies so I can personally attest to the truth of that. I inspected them closely, but purely in the interest of investigative research.
It makes me wonder if any rich boob has taken a trip around the world to verify all of this very unofficial information, perhaps to see if breast implants count or if only au naturel were deemed worthy. I suppose it would never occur to him that the map information was probably taken from bra manufacturers.
No info was found about how many of these knocker maps were sold.
Mark Antony, Cleopatra’s lover in 30 BC, committed suicide when he lost the Battle of Actium to Octavian’s army. According to popular belief, his girlfriend Cleopatra was so distraught that she then followed suit by letting a poisonous asp chomp into her breast.
There is probably no truth to the rumor that men lined up for blocks offering to suck the poison out.
In 1998 a pornographic actress and stripper named Tawny Peaks won a court case against a Florida physical therapist who had sued her. The boob claimed that he suffered from whiplash because she swung her 60HHH jugs into his face.
Some guys just don’t know when they have been blessed.
I will now finish up by listing various things, some astounding, which have been discovered in ladies knocker cracks. The owners of the stuffed cleavages revealed what they found on the Internet, and they seem to make sense because boob fissures can be very magnetic.
A toy racecar, chewed gum, cooked bacon, a dead ant, a Christmas light, a tree branch, a cell phone, a guitar pick after a Slash concert, a valuable lost earring, $800 cash (Twice!), a bottle cap, a dryer sheet, a dead spider, a dental retainer, Dorito crumbs and a piece of pizza, a live caterpillar, a popsicle stick, drugs, a pack of Kit Kats, eight dead bugs, a piece of a window blind, a bottle opener and for the Coup de Gras, roast beef, ham, cracker crumbs and Gouda cheese, all in one cleavage!
Well, I must say, this has been fun for me, but I’m sure some readers will not agree. For some reason I think most of them will be the proud owners of cleavage.
I am not talking about plumber’s butt crack cleavage, either.