Flu disrupts publication
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September 1, 2013 |
By Mike Weland
Publisher
Many of you noticed that these pages haven't
been updated for the past several days, and a
good number of readers contacted me by phone,
email and Facebook to see if I was okay.
I am, and I thank you for your caring concern.
It was I assure, nothing serious. In fact, had I
not had a stroke nearly a year and half ago, I'd
likely not have missed a day. I'm not sure
whether it was a summer flu or a summer cold
that hit me last week, but whichever, it knocked
me for a loop.
Except for one side of me no longer working the
way it should, I don't feel a whole lot
different than I did prior to 5 p.m. Sunday,
April 22, 2011, when the stroke struck. When I
dream, it's as if it never happened.
But it has a way of sending subtle reminders
that things are different, more so than the
obvious physical limitations and the still-to-be
accepted skill of being slow.
I tire now long before I ever did prior, and when I
push too hard, recovery takes days instead of
hours.
I'm more easily frightened than I've ever been,
too. A sudden noise, someone walking up behind
me unexpectedly, and I give a start, sometimes
sufficient to send my weakened left limbs into
uncontrolled spasm, or "clonus."
Sometimes, even the dreams of being whole have
an effect, as when I dream I'm walking normally,
wake, jump out of bed and fall to the floor.
The mind seems to be the one part of me that
refuses to accept, even though all the physical
damage was confined to a small part of that
organ responsible for mind, dreams and thought,
my brain.
It has been a profound educational experience.
In the week past, I learned yet another
aspect; common ailments I'd have once shrugged
off refuse to be shrugged so easily. Even
after a sleepless night of sniffling, snuffling,
tossing, turning and coughing, my first thought
of a morning was of the work I needed to do.
But when I tried, I found myself in a fog; most
of me knew what to do, but I couldn't seem to
get the parts of me that had to do it to rise to
the occasion. I'd end up chatting on Facebook,
playing online word games or solitaire, turning
to a show on Netflix.
Sleep didn't come easy last night, but it came,
and I woke this morning feeling very much
better. And when that part of me that's been
telling me it's time to go to work "spoke," the
part that listens seems to have heard.
I'm by no means caught up, but I'm getting
there, and I both apologize to and am grateful
for those of you who keep bearing with me, and
those of you who worried if I was okay.
You have all given me a reason to keep getting
up, to keep going, to keep looking ahead instead
of behind.
I'm often asked if I'm still in physical
therapy; no, that ended not long after I got out
of the hospital. But I'm doing something much
better by being privileged to maintain this
site.
I may be slow, but thanks to you, I still feel
useful. To me, that's all that's important, and
I am grateful. |
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